Being a Work Horse in a Stable Full of Show Ponies
I have now been working in Washington State, specifically the Seattle area, for about two years, and my God, has it been an adjustment. I am used to the concept that “15 minutes early is on time, and on time is late,” and I was raised with the notion that in order to get ahead, you have to take on more than was offered, keep your plate full, and always keep a hunger for more.
Then I moved to Washington and was slapped with a whole new kind of “Work ethic.” The kind where we “never work above our pay grade,” only do “the work we are paid to do,” and set “boundaries” to ensure a healthy work-life balance. I was openly chastised for things like “expecting structure, answers, and protocol” and for having a “bad” habit of “always wanting to finish what I started before I leave.”
If I could imagine myself having these conversations with friends in Texas, they would likely ask how in hell these people got jobs, much less kept them. Yet the people who work 3 hours a day from home complaining about how they’re expected to attend meetings and adhere to deadlines are consistently making much more, 3-4 times more than I am. So what’s the issue? Why does Washington reward mediocrity, vague efforts, and supposed experience over hard work, determination, and proven results?
Since moving to Washington in August of 2024. I am on my fifth job. I believe I may have insulted my boss at the first one by stating that I could “never accept mediocrity” when asked why I don’t leave work unfinished. I was fired the following Monday for “not keeping up” despite being 3 months ahead.
My second job was an anomaly to me. I returned to my roots and found a job in education. I was met with people who had no structure, no understanding of childhood development, and somehow were tasked with working with children. I was notified that their credit card privileges had been revoked due to overspending, but there never was, and still wasn’t, a budget in place. Gross amounts of money were spent on curriculum that was not applied; safety rules were ignored; poor, dangerous, or concerning behaviors were glossed over, and several people in positions significantly higher than mine had no idea what they were doing, leading to utter chaos in extremely uncontrolled environments. While my site was managed, I could not fix the system, and thus I decided not to be part of the problem and resigned. It’s worth noting that prior to resigning, I applied for a position within the same education-based company that I was dually qualified for, and after asking various questions that no one seemed prepared to answer, I was rejected for “not having the same vision.” I laughed. Why a lack of effectiveness is considered a “vision” is far beyond me.
My third job was with a law firm where the managing partner actually valued my hard work and efforts. She regularly told me that I was an asset to her team and did good work for her. Unfortunately, while doing my job (editing), I had the audacity to point out grammatical errors and was met with what is still the most demoralizing scream fest I’ve experienced to date from the other managing partner and the first partner’s husband. He called me a glorified secretary with no future for daring to challenge the grammar of a legal intern who was a self-proclaimed “horrible speller” who “wasn’t all that good with grammar.” I quit.
My next job was at a firm I really enjoyed working at. I liked the people, I liked the work, I had a strong bond with my main attorney, or so I thought. While I worked my hours from 8-5, my co-workers waltzed in somewhere between 10-12 and left between 3-4. They had fewer cases than I did, fluffed their hours, and blatantly misused a system built on trust. When this was called out, and efforts were made to track our time, I was the only one in favor, because I was the only one who actually worked 8+ hours a day. This is where the insults started and the concerns over my “need” to get my work done. I was told it was unhealthy, told I had an unhealthy work ethic, and after months of being brutally berated by the managing attorney, I was fired for not being a good fit.
I don’t understand it. I have high caseloads; I offer to help where I can; I’m the first to raise my hand when someone asks for help; I always follow through, and when the workload isn’t sufficient, I don’t dally on my phone or waste time chatting with colleagues; I request work. I am kind and friendly, believe in going above and beyond, and I am dependable. I am, by all accounts, a workhorse, and I’m failing daily because I am in a stable full of show ponies.
Some of the major changes I've noticed are listed below.
Communication in Texas, and more conservative states, is built on the idea that a man is only as good as his word. We believe in stiff handshakes, eye contact, politeness, and enough small talk to get in without beating around the bush. Washington isn’t like this. In my experience in Washington, everyone wants to get straight to the point WHILE beating around the bush. That is, no small talk, no niceties, they want to know what you want and why, and they will “circle back” when they have an answer. Be prepared to follow up accordingly.
In Texas, it is clearly defined who is in charge and what your expectations are. In Washington, everything is more “go with the flow.” I would personally be fine with this concept if we didn’t have to find the end of the river to get answers. While it’s nice to have your opinion considered, it’s difficult to get things done when everyone is relying on someone else to make the move. Even in driving, you see this. Want to see hesitancy in real time? Go to the freeway and watch a Native Washingtonian try to merge.
In the last school I worked at in Texas, we used to give GRIT awards. They were given to kids with good moral and ethical standing who persevered above all else. Here, grinding and having a mentality of meeting the goal under any and all circumstances is frowned upon. While it’s lovely to have unapologetic work-life balance, when you were raised to always be aiming for a goal, it’s excruciating to have that goal always behind a goal post of taking your time and working at your level. I have always risen to the level I needed to be at, and here that type of work ethic seems unwelcome and unnecessary.
So for any other workhorses out there, I wanted to share my one tip for survival that I had to learn to be successful in job #5.
Lead with curiosity, not intensity. I was raised to believe that if there was a problem, it was my duty to find a solution. Since moving to Washington, I’ve learned that the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” mentality reigns supreme. Something can always function better, but here, if it isn’t actively broken, presume they are happy with how it’s working, and DO NOT try to fix it. This will get you fired.
Is it hard to stand by with potential in your full view while others settle for less? Yes, but out here it’s going to be the key to survival. It was not until I stopped trying to fix everything that I found my niche and happiness in work. I smile and say, “Not my monkey, not my circus,” throughout the day, and I take it one day at a time. So I hope if you feel this, you know you’re not alone, and I hope you find your way to make it as I did. Love y’all.
-Manda
Comments